Monday, March 4, 2013

How's That Working For Ya

Excuses, we have all  used them as justifications a time or two.  At what point do they become a debilitating crutch for us to not actively participate in our lives?  Excuses are based in fear.  Fear is a powerful driver and that means the excuses we chose to live by can become overwhelming. When this happens we start to believe in those excuses as truth.  The end result is a life lived in fear and confusion of our own making.  The "I can't", "It is to difficult", "I do not know how", "What if", attitudes stunt our growth and make life unpleasant.  This modern world feeds us these messages. We are told that inequality, struggle, tragedy & chaos are to be expected and we better be ready for them. How exactly are we supposed to prepare for these events?  Well, it seems that if we have enough money, the "perfect" family life, the right kind of education and job, plenty of insurance for our things and the hospital and doctors then we should be covered.  If you don't have these things, sorry, but you are screwed.   Now there is nothing wrong with being prepared but people let me share some personal experience.  At 34 years old I suffered a serious illness that seemed to come from nowhere.  All of the sudden life as I knew it came to a halt, flipped upside down and changed in ways that I could have never foreseen.  While having the medical insurance did come in handy to a limited extent it did not stop the illness or its' lingering side effects.  Before my recovery was complete my husband, at 39 years old, was diagnosed with stage IV cancer.  Our lives flipped again and, honestly, seemed impossible.  By all accounts we had every right to live on excuses but we realized that was not living and that sometimes life gets dirty and very real.  In those times there really are no excuses.  You sink or swim that is all there is.  It is your choice ! When my husband died I was ready to sink but I only allowed those feelings to linger for a couple of days.  I kept hearing a phrase he used to say when people were making choices that were not benefiting them... "How's that working out for ya?" and my answer was it's not.  So I decided not to play the widow card.  I felt like and still feel like I had every right to do so and it would have been accepted by people.  However, in my heart & mind I could not accept it.  I did not want to live by excuses.  I am better than that.  It has not all been a clear road guided by sunshine and bird songs but I kinda like the rain at times and I posses the gear to make it through any climate.  We all do! 
Next time life throws a few curve balls your way catch them don't run from them.  They will catch up to you eventually.  Deal and move forward with life because you are better than any excuse you can come up with.  This is your life and your choices.  Ask yourself  "How's this working for me?" and be an active participant in your life.