Thursday, November 21, 2013


As I was studying tonight in the library tears fell on the pages.  I was reading one of the lectures for my course on the Endocrine system and it was describing in detail what happened to my late husband Paul in his final months, hours and minutes.  Paul had cancer and he died after going into cardiac arrest.  I watched it happen, witnessed several ER doctors and nurses all around him even on top of him trying to bring him back.  I witnessed every minute, every second of those last months, hours and minutes.  Paul had been treated for cancer for almost three years but he had not been treated for all of the imbalances that contributed to and would result from a cancer diagnosis.  He was not being treated Holistically.  Cancers, and all disease, are the results of systematic imbalance and must be treated as such.  Imbalances break the systems down and our bodies function as a series of interdependent systems.  If one is sick it has an effect on the rest. 
Anger and hurt mixed with my tears tonight as I was thinking why did he not get treated properly if I am learning this as a Nutritionist why didn't his doctor know it and if he did why didn't he treat him properly?    I believe the answer is that I study Holistic Nutrition.  I have dear friends and acquaintances that are suffering tonight because we do not think, are not taught to think, Holistically.
 A fantastic example of this is the state of our environment.  We and all that we share this earth with can't live on the planet without water, air and food.  We pollute all of these essential elements of life and wonder why disease, illness and social unrest are so rampant.  We function as part of a system on this planet and when one is out of balance it throws the rest out of balance so we have sick water, soil, air and food as well as sick humans, animals, fish, etc. 
It is vital to our survival that we learn to think, teach and live in connection.  We are not separate and we cannot heal separately.  The idea of finding our balance is not just hippie, new age talk.  It is wisdom and truth. 
I purposefully chose a Holistic Nutrition program because personal experience with serious illnesses taught me that there is always a bigger picture.  The more I study the more I realize that the way illness is dealt with in modern, western ways is severely flawed in its' separateness.   We go to one specialist for digestive issues and another for skin problems. I can appreciate focusing knowledge and understanding on a certain area what about treatment that understands them as a connected system.    I am not in medical school even though it feels like it sometimes.  I do not just study food nutrients although many nutrition programs do just focus there.  I study food, body systems, including the mental and emotional and the connection they all share in creating the whole person.  This is Holistic practice and I believe that it is the only real way to be healthy.  I am not totally knocking Allopathic practice because it saved my life in 2007.  It left its' mark in other ways too.  It has its' place and there are times when it is necessary but we have come to view it as a catch all.  We can just go get a pill, a shot or an invasive procedure and we will be fine.  Not true.  The many fixes that the medical world is able to provide are not supposed to be excuses for us to shrug responsibility and live without care.  We are responsible for our health and we must learn how our bodies function so that when illness hits we can effectively deal with it. 
Also, if we want change in how our health care needs are met it is our responsibility to do something about it.  It is one of the reasons that I am studying and I intend to make a difference for people but I expect those people to make a difference for themselves under my guidance.
Live Holistically, learn what that means!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Letting Go

Each day offers an opportunity to begin anew.  In the last several weeks more than any time I can recall I have felt like things are/were changing for me.  The last three years have been an overwhelming whirlwind of change but I was not feeling it in my whole self as I have been lately.  I am in touch and aware of myself and those around me more than ever.  I feel like I have clarity and affirmation that I am right where I need to be with the people I need to be with.  The whirlwind is tame now.  Monkey mind is becoming still. 
Today I left one of Paul's babies (a guitar) at the UPS store to be packed and shipped off to the stranger that bought it from me.  This was a weird.  I kinda felt like I was saying goodbye to him all over again.  I still have lots of his babies and some will grow old with me.  Today feels like the real start of my chapter in this book of life.  I can't really explain how that feels but I can tell you that after over 3 years and through much prayer and guidance it feels good to let go. 
 We hear it all of the time "let it go" and it is a part of the spiritual teachings that I follow but  it has only been recently, as in this year, that I have really been able to put it into practice.  Ironically the last words Paul said to me were "Keri you have to let me go".  He was my everything so being able to do that seemed impossible. There were multiple layers of meaning based on the circumstances in which he said that to me but I now understand that my life with him was a lesson and a catalyst into my life now.   As I release him he is releasing me and I am ready.  Ready to embrace what lies ahead without looking back except to laugh at memories. 
So today I let go and it feels great.  Change is in the air and my life is becoming my own in such a beautiful and comforting way.
I encourage you to practice taking off whatever it is that is getting in your way.  Give it up and let freedom fill you.  You just might be pleasantly surprised.