Thursday, September 15, 2011

A day's thoughts

Last night I realized that next Thursday would be Paul's 43rd birthday. I remembered that at this time last year I was one hot mess. I have come a long way since July 7, 2010 and have a long way to go. I also understand that no matter what was happening in my life a year ago I would have a long and winding road to travel upon. That is what life is. It is a series of transitions and some have more impact than others. Some of these roads we need to travel alone and others we need companions of all types. As we head into Autumn I am feeling the seasonal transition very strongly both physically and emotionally. I welcome the cool air and earthy smells. I stare at the baby blue sky full of clouds that are back lit by the setting sun providing a heavenly picture above the majestic northern evergreens that grow here in the Pacific Northwest. My flannel pj's and Paul's heavy blue robe give me comfort. Hot tea, crisp apples and pears are my fall staples and I am happy to have them back. I also have amazing Autumn memories of raking big leaf piles as a kid, collecting colored leaves that had fallen to the ground, being back in school, and of course, celebrating Paul's birthday and the most beautiful and important day in my life, Paul and I's wedding day. Those last two happened this month. They will forever be the meaning in September and make it the most celebrated month of the year in my world. Today I was doing laundry in the basement of my apartment building and someone upstairs started playing guitar. I stood there dumb founded for a minute or two and then the tears started to roll but they were accompanied by a big smile. I have years worth of memories of hearing the guitar being played as I did things around the house, apartment, etc. It made me happy and I was proud of myself for keeping my cool and not freaking out a neighbor by knocking on their door and asking to just sit and listen. Although, I do not rule that out in the future. Anyway, for the time being I am making an effort to calm down and settle into a steady pace on this part of my life's road. Enjoy these seasonally transitional weeks.

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