Eight years ago today I was the happiest girl on earth. It was my wedding day! I remember waking up that morning with a flutter in my heart and as I took my shower I just kept thinking this is my wedding day. I was not a little girl who dreamed of a big fairy tale wedding or of my wedding day at all but it was one of the happiest most memorable days of my life. My mother came over in the early afternoon and the flowers arrived from the florist, Paul's mom works for a florist...thank you God for that. The flowers filled up our rundown old back mud porch and they were so beautiful in different shades of bright crimson, oranges, purples and greens. My back yard looked like a dream and the sun was shining much to everyone's delight because this time of the year in the midwest you never know what you will get. It was perfect. I remember staring at my dress on its' hanger and thinking this is the day, I finally get to wear it. I bought my beautiful champagne gown when we lived in Los Angeles. I found it at a little boutique on Sunset Blvd. I did not want a white "wedding" dress. I had no intention of looking weddingy on this day. If what they say to the bride is true "this is your day" than I wanted to do it my way. I wanted old Hollywood glamour and I got it. Shopping for that dress was a special time for me that was all about me and how I wanted Paul to see me as he committed himself to me. The saleswoman in the dress shop made me feel great . They outfitted many for Hollywood events but not weddings. She acted excited and was thrilled with my choice of dress not because it cost a small fortune which compared to what a lot of woman spend on their dresses it did not but because it was made by a local LA designer. I was thrilled by that too because the dress in the boutique did not fit quite right so she had to order me one in the right size. I like knowing that nobody else would have a dress like mine on their wedding day. The saleswoman said to me as I modeled the dress for her "Wait till the your guests back in Kansas get a look at you." That is just how I felt on my wedding day. I had my hairstylist do my hair in old school waves and I shopped for a specific red lipstick for months. Today I am going back for a much needed salon visit to that same hairstylist that helped me prepare for my wedding day 8 years ago. It will most likely be our last visit as I am relocating in a month. This day is not only my anniversary but the gateway to my new next chapter, ironically, as a widow and single woman. I am so extremely grateful for these 8 years and the 10 preceding them of our dating. I had 18 years with my soul mate and best friend. That is a lifetime to me because that is how we lived it with each other, for each other.
When I see these shows on tv about "bridezillas" or hear people getting frantic over who pays for what and is this right about their weddings it is so so sad to me. That is and should be one of the happiest days in the bride and grooms lives and it is not about perfection or we have to do it this way or have that No it is about you as a couple and what you want and how you will feel most comfortable and represented. We deserve wedding days we can look back on 8 years, 10 years, 50 years down the road and smile about not remembering any stress. I am so glad Paul and I did our own thing, we always have and always will. That is who I am and it is who Paul was and I will honor that for us both always. That is a promise, my commitment on this day.