Tuesday, July 6, 2010
A day in the life
Today is one of the hardest days so far. My husband woke up super early with anxiety from bad dreams. The dreams & anxiety don't really shock me considering everything he is going through but it has gotten worse as the day progressed and confusion and delirium have set in. It is so frightening when the person you love more than anything is sick with canser and to top it off makes no sense talking to you all of the sudden. This morning he was making sense but come early evening...I have no idea what he is asking me for or talking about. He knows what day it is & who he is & who I am but he can't seem to complete his thoughts. Is it the disease or the meds or the fact he has not eaten today or that he has had too many visitors on too little sleep? I have no idea The most heart wrenching part is he asked me if I think he will be ok, when, and to get the stuff we need to do that. Then he kept apologizing to me. I could not hold it in any more. I had to just start crying. This sucks so much. I just don't get it. The past few days have been good days and now this. Tomorrow should be a good one. We meet with the new oncologist tomorrow. I am praying that the rest he is getting now will help him be more himself tomorrow. Please take your health seriously. It doesn't matter if you are 18 or 80 because this is horrible to have to go through. Prevention people please. Do it for yourself and your loved ones. Please send some powerful prayers this way.